Is this story good, what can I improve on?

You need to do a lot more research and improvement to your grammar and spelling. A family would not have three butlers. They would only have one. Quinn is a surname, not a first name. I can't tell that this is set in the 40s, it reads like it's set in modern America. You need to do A LOT more research about the time period and how people acted and what life was like.